Sleep deprivation makes me suicidal. I haven’t had good sleep for the last few couple of days. The sun isn’t around either.

I feel… well… at least I feel anything. But the glass wall is back up. And I am disconnected again.

What is the point of fucking being here. My ideals and goals in life don’t intersect with many people, or any. Or anything. And I don’t have the energy to bring myself out of this.

I dropped my classes. When I went to pay for them, I was told, “you’re still not officially enrolled yet.” So, being the magical thinker that I am, I took it as a divine message, that I shouldn’t take out loans to be here and that I should properly fuck off.

I feel like I meet people for reasons. Whatever reason that is. Reasons. I want things to have meaning. I can’t even think straight and I’m going to relapse again.

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